Dear Joe,

I am concerned about my friend’s drug problem. When he’s using he acts like a crazy person, thinking people are after him, up all night and then when he stops using he sleeps for days often calling in sick to work. I’m afraid he’s going to lose his job and possibly do some damage physically to himself. How do I get him into treatment?

Concerned

Dear Concerned,

First of all, you can’t get your friend into treatment until an assessment is done and it’s determined that he meets criteria for treatment. In order for that to happen, your friend has to agree that he needs treatment. Once an evaluation has taken place and it’s determined that he meets criteria for treatment there’s the issue of, “who’s going to pay?” Some insurance programs pay for substance abuse treatment and some do not. Some have very high deductibles and/or co-pays so your friend and/or support system has to come up with the difference. So, if you talk your friend into treatment and he doesn’t have the finances to cover those costs, are you willing to pay for his treatment? Be careful what you ask for!

Second, have you discussed your concerns with your friend? It’s important to be clear and direct with folks. Tell him you are concerned about him, that you think he needs help, and see how he reacts. If he agrees, then great, be ready with suggestions of where your friend can go for an assessment: this could be an individual counselor’s office, a substance abuse program, or calling a national treatment center.

Third, if your friend blows you off or gets angry at you, know there is little more you can do. If this continues to get in your way, you need to get to some Al-Anon meetings: meetings for those friends and family members affected by alcoholics or drug addicts.

Fourth, if other friends or family are also concerned and want to do something about your firend’s problem, you can hire an interventionist. Interventionists will work with family and friends to schedule an intervention (yup, just like on the TV show by the same name). The interventionist will have all the information on treatment possibilities lined up at the time of the intervention and will have arranged with the agreed upon treatment program to take the friend as soon as the intervention concludes.

Oh, and by the way, for the record: there are other options besides treatment for your friend. Sometimes twelve step groups and/or individual counseling work. There are a variety of ways that folks address substance abuse issues and no one program or method works for everyone.

Hope this helps and best wishes for you and your friend,

Joe Amico