Kerry Kocaczuk, board chairperson of Stonewall Speakers.

A colleague once told me, upon finding out that I lived with my girlfriend at the time, that I didn't need to talk about my personal life at work. She suggested that I should keep my private life private - all the while discussing her plans with her fiancé and asking another colleague how her boyfriend was doing. I became isolated from office small talk, as it was easier to avoid it completely than to make up stories specifically excluding my partner.

This feeling of exclusion had a negative impact on my productivity. While I tried to concentrate on work, I became distracted by the chatter around the cubicle involving everybody else's significant others. Why should I have to hide that part of my life, when nobody else felt it was necessary?

Upon joining PRIDE at Pratt & Whitney, I gained the confidence that I needed to extract myself from this privatized bubble. Seeing other employees who were comfortable with themselves at work encouraged me to be comfortable with myself, too. However, once I finally felt at ease discussing my female partner with colleagues in casual conversation, our relationship came to an end and I became involved with a man. I was hesitant to reveal this, for fear of confusing people. I found myself facing the decision to conceal my true self yet again. 

Eventually, I came out at work as a bisexual. I didn't make an announcement or hang up a sign. I simply remained honest about what I did over the weekend and included myself in friendly conversations at lunch. While nobody directly asked me, "Are you a lesbian or are you straight?" I overheard those very questions being whispered around the office. When the opportunity arises, I explain that I am neither - and I am able to educate my associates while simultaneously confirming my identity to myself and others. This is the kind of affirmation that everybody deserves.