Darlings!  I know you all try to live your lives to their fullest and treat others as you wish they would treat you.  But sometimes there is that certain someone who can bring out the worst in us every time.  Call it pushing buttons, or call it mean behavior, some people have a way of getting under our skin.

Some people are so plagued with their own problems that they just become toxic to others in social settings and friendships.  It won’t take long for you to make the determination if someone in your life fits in this category.  If they are two-faced, and are pretending to be sweet in your presence, it may take a bit longer to see their true colors.  Regardless, my best advice is to minimize or eliminate this person’s role in your life.

But, sometimes it is not as easy as that because you may have a reason to come in contact with them outside of your own social choosing.  A work setting is often the place we are forced into relationships with people we might not normally seek out on our own.  My advice is the same, but with a twist - sometimes you just have to beat them at their own game.

I have been battling a rivalry with a very toxic person.  Even before our career paths crossed, this conniving, bitter soul set her sights on me years ago and has been a thorn in my side ever since.  So I would like to take this opportunity to share my own personal struggle with a toxic person – Miss Bette Davis.

Bette became jealous of me early on because I was landing roles in pictures and she wasn’t.  She began telling vile, vicious rumors about me – none of which were true.  She even accused me of making a pass at her, as if I would be interested in her.  Even though she was in a failing marriage, she had her eyes on a man, Franchot Tone, who later proposed to me and became my second husband.   Apparently she thought I married him to spite her.  She told a reporter, “She took him from me!  She did it coldly, deliberately and with complete ruthlessness.  I have never forgiven her for that and I never will!”

We filmed one picture together - Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?  She knew very well that I was on the board of Pepsi-Cola, yet she insisted on having Coca-Cola machines installed in all of the dressing rooms.  Then in one scene, when I was to fall out of my wheelchair, the script called for Bette to pretend to kick me. But instead she kicked my head as if it were a football.  She claimed that her shoe coming in contact with my head was “quite unintentional”.  But the ‘accident’ resulted in an egg-sized lump on my head and a trip to the hospital for stitches in my scalp.  But I had my own fun in a later scene when Bette had to drag my crippled body from my bed.  She told me, “Joan, now don’t be all dead weight because I have a bad back.”  So, I ‘accidentally’ concealed a weightlifter’s belt lined with lead under my dress.  She struggled to lift me, pulled out her bad back and ended up in traction for two whole weeks.

Despite the onscreen tension, the film was a box office hit for both of us.  Bette was even nominated for Best Actress.  But, as fate would have it, she lost to Anne Bancroft who could not be present that evening.  I had arranged in advance with Anne to accept the Oscar on her behalf should she win. When they announced Anne’s name, I stood up, glanced over at Bette and made my way to the stage to receive the award.  The next day, all of the papers ran the picture of me holding the Oscar that Bette failed to win.

Two years later we were both cast again in another picture - Hush, Hush Sweet Charlotte.  During the first days of shooting, while I was busy rehearsing in my dressing room, she assembled the entire cast and crew and took photos of them all holding cans of Coca-Cola and then plastered them around the set.  I knew it was starting all over again, so I faked pneumonia for three weeks to get out of the picture.

An interviewer once asked her, if Joan Crawford were to pass away, what would you say in response to the sad news.  And that bitch told him, “Well I’d have to say, my mother always taught me to speak good of the dead.  Joan’s dead, good!"

I hope this sheds some light on what kind of monster Bette Davis really is and I have done my best through the years to resist the temptation to retaliate when she has tormented me.  Some people say to keep your friends close and your enemies closer.  I say cut the toxic people out of your life and their evil ways will catch up with them in due time.  This is why today Bette Davis is nowhere to be found and my career continues to thrive.

In closing I would like to extend a special thank you to all of my wonderful fans – I love all of you!

Joan Crawford hosts the CGMC’s monthly Bingomania in New Haven.  For more details about Joan Crawford’s Casinomania on 5/16/10, Bats and Balls Bingomania on 5/22/10, or for future dates, visit www.ctgmc.org   Follow all of Joan’s antics, photos and videos on Facebook by doing a search for Joan Crawford and send her a friend request.

Tags: Joan Crawford